Cheap Cheat

At left: Me too, Oprah. Me effing too. 

You guys? I have a problem. And her name is Oprah. 

I rarely miss her show, and I have no idea why I tune in at 4pm other than, you know, Law & Order just ended and there's no way in hell I'm going to sit through an episode of Charmed on TBS. And while most house-bound women fall under the spell of big O and have no problem whatsoever watching the show, I always have difficulty. Like, the time a couple weeks ago when she did an expose on overweight kids? And showed the things they ate? It made me sad, yes, but it also.... made me hungry. As in, I ate a block of cheese, chugged a coke, and then had two slices of leftover pizza hungry. 

And besides sabotaging me diet-wise, O always makes me want to slit my wrists. I don't know if it's the economy or what, but everything this woman talks about these days is suicide-inducing, gloomy stuff. Take today's show, for example, which was all about why men cheat. It was MISERABLE. And so now I am miserable and JESUS. [Siiiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhh.]

I may need a nap. But before I hide under the covers and NEVER COME OUT AGAIN, I thought I'd relate that from now until tomorrow at some point--I can't even remember because I am now so depressed--Oprah is giving away free, downloadable copies of M. Gary Neuman's "groundbreaking" [her words, clearly] book, The Truth About Cheating. So, if you're interested in a copy, go here and get one. 

Remember when Oprah gave away cars? That was nice...