OPRAH OFFERS

Image via sigg.com

In honor of Earth Day, Oprah has partnered with some ecologically sound retailers to give you some economically sound deals. These offers are only good for a limited time, so act fast!

GET A FREE, REUSABLE LUNCH BAG FROM WHOLE FOODS

GET 20% OFF SIGG PRODUCTS

GET 20% OFF TO-GO WARE

Happy Earth Day!

ABOVE: Going green is a bright idea. Image via oprah.com

After a week of vacation, I'm back. Back to this shiteous weather, back to paying for my meals (Hi Mom and Dad! I MISS YOU), and back to parking my increasingly fat patootie on the couch to watch she-of-the-also-round-buttox, Oprah. 

Today's show was all about Earth Day, and Oprah had a lot of great recommendations for going green and saving some cash. Here are some of her best and most NYC-applicable: 

1. Buy LCD flood lights. While they cost $40, they last 10 years and will save you up to $740 during that time.

2. LCD TV's are more energy efficient than their Plasma counterparts. Also, as in most things, smaller saves more energy. 

3. Go meatless one day a week. Having a "meatless Monday" every week will save you cash, and is the equivalent of removing 20 million mid-size sedans from the road. 

4. Gardening is the single greenest thing you can do (and, though Oprah says that it's not so easy to garden in NYC, I'd like to point out that I have beets growing on my rooftop right now) and a $60 investment will save you nearly $200 in fresh produce. 

5. Finally, for all you home owners: If you make a green improvement to your home before the end of 2009, you may be eligible for a $1500 tax credit.

Check out Oprah.com for more green ideas.

Contain Yourself

Image via thecontainerstore.com

I love The Container Store. Walking through its aisles, I instantly feel more organized, more in control, more able--even when the reality of my situation is that I am none of those things. There's just something about the shiny plastic and hard angles of all those bins and binders--they beckon like a light in the darkness. Am I crazy? A little. But happily, Oprah understands (Doesn't she always?):

GET 25% OFF AT THE CONTAINER STORE--IN STORES, ONLINE, AND OVER THE PHONE--NOW THROUGH APRIL 13th. 

Cheap Eats: Oprah

At left: Don't even think about it, Stone.

Image via oprah.com

Heh. I just realized that the headline on this post seems to indicate that it would be affordable to eat Oprah. I assure you it would not be affordable, nor would it be a good idea. Bitch will cut you. Into little pieces. And then eat you on national television while housewives everywhere cheer her on. And then you'll wind up the main ingredient in some Junior League cookbook somewhere, under the recipe title: "Stupid Ass Who Stepped to Oprah Souffle, with Caramel Sauce." Trust me, you do NOT want to go there. 

Anyway, where was I? Oh right: Oprah had Cat "Tin Chef" Cora, Curtis "I have an accent, therefore I am" Stone, and Tyler "The Ultimate DB" Florence on the show today, in an effort to teach American families how to cook cheaper, more nutritious meals. 

I have to admit, I didn't really watch any of it, as I was too busy mourning the death of my sometime employer, while curled up on the couch and staring off into the bleak nothingness that is my professional future. (Happy Effing Wednesday, kids.) But I am always in favor of cheap meals, and you can check out the recipes here. 

Cheap Cheat

At left: Me too, Oprah. Me effing too. 

You guys? I have a problem. And her name is Oprah. 

I rarely miss her show, and I have no idea why I tune in at 4pm other than, you know, Law & Order just ended and there's no way in hell I'm going to sit through an episode of Charmed on TBS. And while most house-bound women fall under the spell of big O and have no problem whatsoever watching the show, I always have difficulty. Like, the time a couple weeks ago when she did an expose on overweight kids? And showed the things they ate? It made me sad, yes, but it also.... made me hungry. As in, I ate a block of cheese, chugged a coke, and then had two slices of leftover pizza hungry. 

And besides sabotaging me diet-wise, O always makes me want to slit my wrists. I don't know if it's the economy or what, but everything this woman talks about these days is suicide-inducing, gloomy stuff. Take today's show, for example, which was all about why men cheat. It was MISERABLE. And so now I am miserable and JESUS. [Siiiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhh.]

I may need a nap. But before I hide under the covers and NEVER COME OUT AGAIN, I thought I'd relate that from now until tomorrow at some point--I can't even remember because I am now so depressed--Oprah is giving away free, downloadable copies of M. Gary Neuman's "groundbreaking" [her words, clearly] book, The Truth About Cheating. So, if you're interested in a copy, go here and get one. 

Remember when Oprah gave away cars? That was nice...

Beans, Beans, the Magical Fruit...

Oprah today (yeah, yeah. I KNOW.) was all about so-called "Blue Zones,"areas of the world where large groups of people have mastered the art of living long and full lives. One thing most all of them had in common? Beans played a starring role in their diets. 

So, in addition to being an affordable dining option, they also have proven health benefits. 

In honor of the magical fruit, here's a recipe I often use for black bean soup when money is tight. Ingredients can be added as your budget allows, but the basics (a couple cans of beans and store-bought salsa) cost about $5 and feed two. If I'm feeling really rich, I'll buy the Jiffy Corn muffin mix and make some corn bread to serve with it. Classy, no? 

Cheap-o Black Bean Soup: 

2 cans black beans

1 container store bought salsa 

(**I like the Santa Barbara variety, found in the refrigerated section of your grocery store)

Water

1. Pour beans into a sauce pan over medium heat, and add half the salsa to the mix. Cook until heated through.

2. With the back of your spoon (or with a potato masher if you have one), mash half of the pan's contents. 

4. If the soup appears too thick, add some water and stir to incorporate. 

The soup is much improved with a tbsp. of cumin and a dash of cayenne at the beginning, and  a dollop of sour cream at the end can make it beautifully creamy. But again: only if you have the inclination (and the extra cash). Likewise, chicken broth could be subbed for water--though I often find that I don't need all that much in the way of extra liquid. The salsa, however, is non-negotiable. It not only provides veggies such as tomatoes, red onions, and bell peppers, it also imbues the soup with a bit of heat in the absence of spices.